I Feel Like Making a Monkey Out of Myself....A Recital if you Please?

He hangs so tightly to his tree,
A monkey man, I cannot see.
Just can't seem to shake him free!
And thoughts of him won't let me be!

I take a ladder to his tree,
But, I'm afraid of heights you see?
I start to climb, then have to pee,
What the Hell is wrong with me?!!

Rhyming all the time is hard!
All this chatter makes me tired.
I ain't no poet, ain't no bard.
I'd RATHER grease his tree with LARD!
AND WATCH HIM FALL DOWN REALLY... HARD!!!

Then I could laugh, and dance with glee!
Off into the woods I'd flee.
A Monkey Mama, running free!
Oh God, what is wrong with me?

It's hard to write this STUPID rhyme,
For which I wouldn't pay a dime.
My MONKEY chatters all the TIME!
So now, I write this AWFUL slime.

What else is there for me to do?
Apparently, I've lost a screw.
A CRAZY WOMAN yes, it's true!
For now, my "tail" of woe is through.

His monkey laughter I can hear,
He loudly chatters in my ear.
It feels like I have "wrote" for years!
I'm crying now, I'm "shedding" tears.

I cannot see, the page is ...blur?
All covered up in monkey fur.
I wonder what I do this for?
Guess I'm just a monkey who... ( Ahem! Pardon me... onward march
this rhyme! )
( Has nothing better else to do? )